Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Randomness at 11:45 pm

Anthropapa is 250 miles away this week for a training class. Urg. I've been inside with the kids for days, a combination of illness, cold weather, and the fact that I can't seem to get to bed before 11 pm and the kids can't seem to sleep later than 6:30 am. Evidently that's not enough sleep for me! And now we're supposed to have an oh-so wonderful day tomorrow, filled with sleety weather, kids having major cabin fever, and me feeling less than patient with it all.

On the brighter, or more random, side:

Today the kids ran around the house playing with purses and wallets. They got Target gift cards from a grandparent for Valentine's day, and a few quarters for fun from Papa. But despite our ongoing efforts to avoid teaching them materialistic consumerism, they kept coming up to me and whining "We need more money!" I felt like saying "Don't we all?" but sarcasm is lost on toddlers.

The wikipedia article I've been working on was unlocked though the arbitration proceeds undecided. I recently realized that compared to the three other main editors--a Waldorf parent for 15 years, and two experienced teachers--I have less knowledge to impart about the topic. However I can provide a mediating influence in this rather heated environment. So, I've decided to focus on the process rather than the content: fostering consensus, encouraging neutrality, focusing on improving the content rather than pushing personal agendas, etc. Hmmm, maybe that's why I'm not getting enough sleep.

Napoleona has decided to take imitation to the next level. SillyBilly threw up a few times today, but seemed pretty much OK. Probably just a little stressed by being inside for so many days and missing his Papa. But every so often today Napoleona would pipe up with "My tummy hurts too!" or "I'm sick too!" I tried to tell her that being sick isn't exactly something we should wish for, but she just didn't get it.

I bought business cards for myself, and joined a freelancer's association. Rationally I can see that if I'm trying to build up steady work for myself, I need to invest a little at the start. But part of me feels totally pretentious, like what I'm doing is really just a hobby or something. I will be able to deduct these things come tax time next year, so that's something. Editing is something I've never been formally trained to do, I've never been fully employed at doing, and so it kind of feels like I'm just faking it as I go along.

5 comments:

charlotte said...

If it's any comfort, I could have written this post! My husband travels often, and being home alone with three kids, one or two or three of whom is usually sick starts to drive me mad. Then the crap weather, so we get cabin fever, then I stay up late in order to have some quiet sane grown-up time and Ollie wakes around 6am, and the whole mad cycle starts again. Roll on summer!

Be kind to yourself. Let the housework slide a little. Remember you are doing a brilliant job. Sometimes I think just getting up, feeding the children, and quietly managing their day is the most spiritual thing we can possibly do - especially when we'd far rather stay in bed with a good book and a large slab of chocolate.

Wish I could be there and we could lump our gang of kids together and have a cup of tea!

charlotte said...

PS Good luck with the freelance work. Hope you find some fab stuff to do.

Henitsirk said...

Thanks for the good words Charlotte. I remember a woman once saying "Some days, the best thing we can say is nobody got hurt." I'm looking forward to this winter storm leaving us tonight.

It is a spiritual thing, working with children all day. Unfortunately, spiritual work is hard!! Parenting is vastly underrated as a job suited for working on inner development.

healingmagichands said...

The amazing thing to me is the number of people who don't consider parenting a job at all. They have their children, for the life of me I can't see why, because within 6 weeks they have gone back to work, are leaving their precious baby with a supply of pumped breast milk (if it isn't too much trouble. . .) at a baby sitter for 9 or 10 hours in a day. Then when the child gets older, they become the chauffeur to various sports and social events, and then they wonder why their children grow up to be morally bankrupt.

You are both doing a wonderful job that is critically important, and if I was on the right continent I would rush to give you a break for a few hours. Instead, I will just let you know how important I think you are and give you tons of moral support.

And very good luck with your freelance work. I can testify that working for yourself is the best way to make a living, even if it does take a while to build a clientele. There is nothing pretentious about having a business card. You'll probably need invoices too once you get some business. I remember how silly I felt when I started doing massage, but it truly is important to present yourself professionally if you want to be considered professional.

Henitsirk said...

HMH: I used to feel much the same as you about working moms. I thought they were only working in order to maintain their consumerist lifestyle. Now that I'm a mom I see how these days it can be very difficult to have a family on one income. We are a fairly frugal family, and still it's been a struggle.

But I still agree with your point about being a chauffeur. Kids today are over-scheduled, leaving no time for creative, open play. Everyone in the family feels stressed and distanced from each other, and kids have little "quality" time at home with their parents. I'm a big proponent of free play!

Thanks for the moral support. I thought we were on the same continent, unless you're on vacation??

One thing the freelancer's association has provided is lots of guidance on things like invoices, contracts, etc. I think because all my other freelance work has been very informal, working with friends, now that I am working with strangers I have to be "professional" and it's just unfamiliar.

And maybe I would feel more professional if my phone conversations weren't interrupted by screaming toddlers!