Bookworm Meme

From Helen's blog:

• Hardback or trade paperback or mass market paperback?

Trade. They have the substance of a hardback without the weight.


• Amazon or brick and mortar?

Either. Amazon for used books, since we have NO good used bookstores around here (sad that I live within 25 miles of NYC and say that because I never get into the city!) and sometimes I just can't wait for Bookmooch. Brick and mortar when I either don't want to pay for shipping or just want to browse. Plus it's a place to take the kids when it's icky weather out.

• Barnes & Noble or Borders?

Either, depending on what's nearby. B&N seems to have the nifty cafe's more often.


• Bookmark or dogear?

I hate to dogear but sometimes resort to it. Mostly it's free bookmarks from the library, or subscription cards ripped out of magazines.

• Alphabetize by author or alphabetize by title or random?

Neither, I try to keep books in groups by topic. All the crafty books together, all the parenting, fiction, etc. on their own shelves. This works because the vast majority of my books are still stored in the basement!


• Keep, throw away, or sell?

I have thrown away books but only in the rare cases of complete and utter destruction, e.g. massive water damage or children ripping them to pieces. We used to sell lots of books in Sacramento because we had a used book shop that gave quite good rates, but now I use Bookmooch or donate to thrift stores. Nowadays I only buy books that I'm sure I will keep, otherwise it's the library for me.

• Keep dustjacket or toss it?

Mostly toss, especially the kids' books. However I would normally want to keep them.


• Read with dustjacket or remove it?

Remove, for the most part. Sometimes the flap makes an acceptable bookmark though.


• Short story or novel?

Novels...right now I read for escapism, and I don't want to escape to a different place every half an hour!

• Collection (short stories by same author) or anthology (short stories by different authors)?

If I had to choose I suppose it would be collection. The only short story books I have right now are Charles de Lint's Newford stories and Wendell Berry's Port William stories, which almost read as novels because they involve consistent groups of characters.


• Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket?

Harry Potter. I enjoyed the first Lemony Snicket book but never went back to read more.

• Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks?

When hubby turns out the light and glares at me.


• “It was a dark and stormy night” or “Once upon a time”?

Reading for myself, the dark and stormy. For the kids, once upon a time.


• Buy or Borrow?

Mostly borrow, with a sprinking of buying and mooching.


• New or used?

Mostly used, except for my latest business expense.


• Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse?

The only reviews I read (now that I seem to have no time for the Sunday NY Times) are on blogs, same for recommendations. Browsing only works if I have actual time at a bookstore without two children dragging me to the picture book section!


• Tidy ending or cliffhanger?

Definitely tidy ending, though cliffhangers are acceptable in books for which the sequel is waiting on my bookshelf.


• Morning reading, afternoon reading or night time reading?

Night time, after the kids are in bed.


• Standalone or series?

Either, though lately I've been wanting to delve deeper into book worlds that I like, hence the many Pride and Prejudice spinoffs on my shelf.


• Favorite series?

Harry Potter, Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin, Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson


• Favorite book of which nobody else has heard?

Hmmm...this one seems like a dare. How about Little, Big by John Crowley, or The Hounds of the Morrigan by Pat O'Shea?

• Favorite books read last year?

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susannah Clarke


Widdershins by Charles de Lint

Fidelity: Five Stories by Wendell Berry


• Favorite books of all time?

Pretty much anything I've mentioned here already, or here. There are others, like the Lord of the Rings books, which I'm sure I will read over and over throughout my life, but which don't come to mind right now as particularly shiny and enticing.

Parenting and inner work

One of my recent posts mentioned Rudolf Steiner's "six basic exercises," and I thought I would expand on them a bit in relation to parenting. I am taking inspiration from an essay by Signe Schaefer in More Lifeways. I find that these exercises are wonderful, challenging work, and that our children are truly our teachers when it comes to inner growth.

The first exercise relates to thinking. Often parents find themselves easily distracted, and our powers of mental concentration are challenged daily by the ever-changing demands of children. Steiner recommended that we take a small everyday object (e.g. a button or paperclip) and try to focus our attention completely on it. Sounds easy, but it's quite difficult to maintain complete attention for any length of time. Over many days we focus on the form of the object, as well as its manufacture, in a measured, conscious way instead of merely fleeting impressions. We also observe our own thought processes to discover the times and ways we become distracted. This exercise not only helps us become more conscious of our thinking, it also helps us gain a sense of self-control and confidence, so easily lost when faced with the complexity of modern parenting.

The second exercise relates to our will forces. This is another realm in which parents can be easily distracted: I was about to do the dishes when I realized I needed a clean dish towel, but on my way to the linen closet I noticed the cats needed clean water, and then the kids came into the bathroom asking for a snack, so we returned to the kitchen to find the dishes still filling the sink! So we choose a small unnecessary act (in my last post the example was touching my earlobe at 11:45 am) and endeavour to remember and complete it each day. This exercise helps parents strengthen their sense of inner resolve, and helps us feel less on "auto-pilot" or discouraged by lack of follow-through.

The third exercise involves our emotions. We are often unable to remain calm in the face of the baby who won't stop crying or the siblings who won't stop fighting. To begin this exercise, at the end of the day we review our emotional responses: when were we "out of ourselves" and not fully present because of strong feelings? When did an emotional response lead to unintended consequences? Were many of these responses habitual? Eventually we seek to have these insights in the moment instead of in reflection; this helps us stay centered and present, so that we can face our lives with equanimity.

The fourth exercise urges us to find something good, true, or beautiful in any situation. So often we become focused on the negatives in our days: the whining children, the burnt meal, the rude customer at work. Challenging ourselves to guide our thinking and feeling consciously toward the positive when faced with the negative helps us be find balance in our judgments. We can learn to see the beauty in the messes the children make while playing and the strength of will in the argumentative neighbor.

The fifth exercise helps us become more open and receptive to the future and new experiences. We may find ourselves relating to our children's perspectives with scorn or antipathy: the boy who loves to hit and break things, the girl who must eat each kind of food in the meal separately. At the end of the day we can ask ourselves when did we shut down to new ideas? When did we discard someone's opinion as too far from our own? Did we experience a moment when our actual experience differed from our habitual expectations? Working in this way we can begin to work with the gift of open-heartedness that our children bring to the world, and be open to our own capacity for growth and renewal.

The last exercise is to bring the other five exercises together into our daily lives. If we practice the exercises faithfully for a time, we can begin to see them interweave and enliven us. One image is that of the five-pointed star: each point is important itself, but put together they make a radiant, living image. Over time we might find that we have become more conscious, centered, tranquil and in harmony with our surroundings. We can face our days as parents with love, positivity, openness, and objectivity, and model such behavior to our children. As Signe says at the end of her essay, parents and children "are truly on a path of mutual development: their needs for care ask us to grow, and our love and attention nourish their unfolding."

Oh, for the good old days

I just read an article from the Organic Consumer's Association about lead in vinyl lunchboxes. Yet another thing that makes me want to run into the woods to find a log cabin to hide in, despite what some people say about the beneficial aspects of human progress.

As a wee girl in the 70's, I just grabbed that Hardy Boys lunchbox 'n' thermos and went on my innocent, unleaded way to school each morning. Just a thin layer of ink and steel between me and my oreo cookies.

Fun Google result I found while trying to verify that my boys were indeed lead-free: this kinda scary site that has waaaay too much information. Though I'm pleased to see that the Hardy Boys would go for $25, $30 with thermos. Good thing the boys are lounging on a shelf at my dad's house, waiting for the world market in bad 70's TV show memorabilia to go through the roof. Too bad I don't still have the Shaun Cassidy poster that hung over my bed during that crucial prepubescent time.

Asthma and anthroposophy

I've suffered from asthma since I was 17. Over the years I've had many trips to the ER and have gone through countless inhalers. Luckily it's never been severe, but asthma symptoms have definitely limited my activities.

Asthma is a mysterious thing. No one really knows what causes it. There are identified triggers--pollen, exercise, anxiety--but these vary from person to person. No one can really say why someone develops asthma in the first place. Tiny babies can have it; adults can also develop it as I did.

Last year I bought a DVD about the Buteyko method, also known as eucapnic breathing. I'd heard about this from friends and thought I'd give it a try, since it's completely non-invasive. Essentially, Dr. Buteyko stated that asthma sufferers overbreathe. Buteyko believed that asthma is caused by too little carbon dioxide in the lungs; CO2 regulates the ability of the body to take in oxygen, so that if CO2 levels go down, so does the amount of oxygen the blood can absorb. Seems paradoxical, but it makes sense.

The one big thing about this method is that you must always breathe through your nose. Always! Doing this automatically decreases the incoming airflow, among other things. But asthmatics are very often mouth-breathers, and it's an unconscious habit.

So, the main thing I've been doing is to try to be conscious of my breathing and keep my mouth shut! This is where the anthroposophy comes in.

Rudolf Steiner developed his "six basic exercises" to help foster consciousness and balance in our thinking, emotions, and will forces. The "will exercise" involves doing a small, unnecessary act at a certain time each day. For example, I would decide to touch my earlobe at 11:45 am daily. Choosing something insignificant takes away any chance that external influences will help me: something like feeding the cats already must happen, and something like eating a piece of chocolate has its own incentive! So I have to choose something that will require my conscious intention to remember.

I have to admit: I've never been very successful at this exercise. It's far too easy to forget after a few days, and then just give up amid all the myriad activities and distractions of life. But I have tried to use a modified version of this exercise in relation to the Buteyko method.

If I catch myself breathing through my mouth, I bring my full consciousness to it and change over to nose breathing. I try to stay conscious of my breathing for as long as possible afterwards. I then work towards some of the other Buteyko advice such as breathing fairly shallowly and relaxing.

In this way I hope to bring more consciousness to what is normally a very unconscious activity. It's not quite the will exercise, but it's what I'm able to do right now.

Something about this has been working: I've used very little asthma medication in the last year and certainly have had no crises. Have I become more conscious overall? I'll have to get back to you on that.

What is this world coming to?

I get a catalog from “Oriental Trading Company”. I remember this from years ago as a place you could find massive amounts of very cheap crafting supplies. Either that was a different catalog altogether, or it morphed into the current “way too many incredibly wasteful, insanely ugly, tiny foam things made of toxic chemicals in some Chinese sweatshop.”

But that’s not all! They recently sent me their Easter-themed “Inspirations: A Celebration of Faith” issue.

Nothing says “I love God” than

1. Cross-shaped lollipops
2. 4 1/2 inch plush bears wearing “He Lives!” t-shirts
3. Foam and rhinestone cross ornament kits
4. “Smile! Jesus Loves You!” rubber punch balls
5. Lamb of God gummy candies

Bedtime drama storyboard

The scene: A suburban home, 9 pm on an icy winter evening.

The family rejoices as the Papa returns from a week out of town. After enjoying a late dinner, the children are put to bed. A few minutes later...

Hearing the children's bedroom door open, the Mama goes out to check on the kids. The little girl says in a sad voice, "Mama, I threw up." Upon investigation, Mama indeed finds that the pillow, sheet, wool mattress pad, wool sweater and wool long underwear are all casualties. She cleans up, changes sheets and jammies, and rocks the little girl back to sleep. Just as the Mama turns out the light...

Blurp! Another round. This time the Mama enlists the Papa's help, since this time the carpet and the daughter's hair are added to another set of bed linens and jammies out of the running. Much scurrying around of parents ensues, while the subdued daughter looks on. Everything is restored to normal, but then...

"Mama, I have to throw up again," the daughter says as the Mama tries to rock her to sleep a second time. The Mama nimbly transports the girl to the bathroom, where for the first time, there is no collateral damage. The girl, once finished, says she feels better, but by now is sagging with lethargy. While the Papa continues scurrying, taking laundry to the basement, the Mama tries one last time to rock the girl to sleep. This time, success.

Camera pans across the children's room to reveal: big brother quietly snoring, having slept through the entire evening's drama. Fade to: living room clock, striking 10 pm. Fade out.

Winter fun, finally

We finally got a decent snow. All morning yesterday we had freezing rain, then a bit of snow to top things off in the afternoon. We spent the day inside, wearing our jammies, listening to the little ticks of ice hitting the windows and skylight.

After so many days inside the house, this morning we went outside immediately after breakfast. It's been below freezing for several days so our humble little brook looks like this:


I've been kind of a neurotic mama about the kids getting wet this winter. It's not like the brook is more than ankle deep right now, and it's not like it would take more than 30 seconds to get the kids inside if they got wet. But I just can't help it. The snow was so hard and slippery that at one point today Napoleona had slipped down just onto the edge of the ice, and was getting scared that she couldn't climb back up. Somehow in that moment I was able to be calm and help her. Maybe because I had to actually take action instead of just brooding on my fears.

We've been having fun experiencing the different kinds of snow. We haven't had any this year, but last year we remember a few days with wet snowball-making snow. The snow this year has all been very powdery and dry, until this last storm which left us with very icy, crunchy hard-packed snow. The kids' feet hardly left marks as they walked, and I left big cracked indentations, much bigger than my actual feet. And because the surface was so slippery, the kids found that the path beside our neighbor's house made a perfect slide:


And shoveling and plowing such hard snow left piles of big snow chunks everywhere. So, there was much climbing and sliding down snow mountains and creating snow chunk sculptures.


Growing up in Southern California, I had absolutely no experience with snow or ice until after I was married and moved to the Sierra Nevadas. And it's only now that I'm coming to enjoy it alongside the kids. Certain grandparents (you know who you are!) grumble mightily about winter and look forward to moving to sunnier climes. For me, I love the variety of the seasons, and I wouldn't want my kids to miss these experiences as I did as a child.

Adventures in miso soup making

Today for lunch I decided to make miso soup. I got out the kombu and brought it to the boil, turned the flame down low and dumped in some bonito flakes, strained the dashi, cut up the kombu and put it back in, put in some frozen peas to simmer, and then added some whole wheat noodles (really spaghetti but we'll pretend they were soba) and a dash of soy sauce. Yum, right?

Notice anything missing?

I...forgot...the...MISO!

My brain is definitely on hold until Anthropapa gets back.

PS: How did Japanese people store bonito before Ziploc bags were invented, without their houses reeking of fish? Did they just not mind the reek?

Randomness at 11:45 pm

Anthropapa is 250 miles away this week for a training class. Urg. I've been inside with the kids for days, a combination of illness, cold weather, and the fact that I can't seem to get to bed before 11 pm and the kids can't seem to sleep later than 6:30 am. Evidently that's not enough sleep for me! And now we're supposed to have an oh-so wonderful day tomorrow, filled with sleety weather, kids having major cabin fever, and me feeling less than patient with it all.

On the brighter, or more random, side:

Today the kids ran around the house playing with purses and wallets. They got Target gift cards from a grandparent for Valentine's day, and a few quarters for fun from Papa. But despite our ongoing efforts to avoid teaching them materialistic consumerism, they kept coming up to me and whining "We need more money!" I felt like saying "Don't we all?" but sarcasm is lost on toddlers.

The wikipedia article I've been working on was unlocked though the arbitration proceeds undecided. I recently realized that compared to the three other main editors--a Waldorf parent for 15 years, and two experienced teachers--I have less knowledge to impart about the topic. However I can provide a mediating influence in this rather heated environment. So, I've decided to focus on the process rather than the content: fostering consensus, encouraging neutrality, focusing on improving the content rather than pushing personal agendas, etc. Hmmm, maybe that's why I'm not getting enough sleep.

Napoleona has decided to take imitation to the next level. SillyBilly threw up a few times today, but seemed pretty much OK. Probably just a little stressed by being inside for so many days and missing his Papa. But every so often today Napoleona would pipe up with "My tummy hurts too!" or "I'm sick too!" I tried to tell her that being sick isn't exactly something we should wish for, but she just didn't get it.

I bought business cards for myself, and joined a freelancer's association. Rationally I can see that if I'm trying to build up steady work for myself, I need to invest a little at the start. But part of me feels totally pretentious, like what I'm doing is really just a hobby or something. I will be able to deduct these things come tax time next year, so that's something. Editing is something I've never been formally trained to do, I've never been fully employed at doing, and so it kind of feels like I'm just faking it as I go along.

I am from...

I am from endless California sunshine and brown summer skies. I am from palm trees lining streets like an endless queue of ducklings. I am from crashing Pacific waves, distant islands like smoky mirages, and oil drilling platforms lit up at night like far-off fairy palaces. I am from rivers wrapped in concrete, never to flood again.

I am from hot pink bouganvillea, golden yellow grass, oak trees so large their branches form enormous circles touching the ground around their massive trunks. I am from rattlesnakes creeping across my path, coyotes howling in the night, and shy brown rabbits munching on well-mown park grass. I am from hawks endlessly circling in the bright blue sky. I am from night skies so bright I could hardly see stars. I am from avocado orchards, orange and lemon trees in the backyard, brilliant green lettuce fields as far as I could see.

I am from houses built too close to the water falling into the ocean, houses built on hills sliding down, houses built in narrow valleys being consumed by wildfire. I am from earthquakes waking us up in the middle of the night, shaking us into doorjambs or under desks at school, cracking the sidewalk and our patio floor. I am from the smell of burning grass as flames lick their way up over the nearest ridge. I am from wildflowers immediately sprouting from the blackened earth.

I am from riding my bicycle up and down my street with my dog in the bike basket. I am from playing Nancy Drew mysteries on the playground with my girlfriends. I am from trying to beat the Guinness Book world record for swinging the longest, as long as recess lasted. I am from proudly wearing my Brownie uniform, resplendent with patches, every Wednesday to school. I am from looking on in wonder at the fancy sportscars in the high school parking lot.

I am from driving down the big hill to see my Grandma every weekend. I am from driving out to my aunt's house every Christmas Day. I am from driving endlessly on highways, watching the red and white lights stretch on into infinity through the car window. I am from watching the world blur and drip as the rain dances down the window when we got stuck in traffic. I am from six car accidents, one broken wrist, one facial scar and much broken glass and dented metal.

I am from In-N-Out Burger juice dripping down my chin. I am from bomb pops from the ice cream truck circling the neighborhood, endlessly playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" from a loudspeaker. I am from bologna sandwiches on white bread with mayonnaise. I am from always being jealous that my mother got to lick the chocolate cake bowl while I only got the beaters. I am from burritos and quesadillas, Thai sriracha sauce with my tod mun, chicken pizza with creamy garlic sauce.

I am from three little dogs wagging their tails at me when I come home from school. I am from taking each one of them to be put down by the vet in their extreme old age. I am from having four cats and a dog, and realizing that's too many pets for one house. I am from always wanting a cat, and never getting one until I grew up and moved out. I am from helping feed orphaned baby birds, using eye droppers and toothpicks. I am from having conversations with crows, laughing at the arrogance of wild turkeys, and shivering with awe as a herd of deer thunder past me.


Thanks to Charlotte for inspiring me.

The Seven Rules of the Toddler

I just unearthed this from a folder of early childhood resources from a class I took right after my son was born.

1. If I like it, it is mine.
2. If it is in my hands, it is mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it is mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it is mine.
5. If it is mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I am doing or building something, all of the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

SillyBilly will take his "special things" (which change daily) and put them up on a high shelf that Napoleona can't reach. And they will both hoard books on their laps so the other can't read them.

I was an only child, therefore I never developed this need for hoarding. ALL the books and toys were mine! I could share with magnanimity when I so chose. So I find this behavior just at bit mystifying and quite a bit irritating.

Thoughts on Waldorf Traditions

As I mentioned a few days ago, I've been editing the Waldorf Education article on Wikipedia. There is a core group of editors, both supportive and critical of Waldorf, who have been involved for many months, working to improve the article's neutrality and breadth of content.

One of the editors who (if we were taking sides outright) would be on the "con" side, has pointed out that in many Waldorf schools, things are done out of tradition or dogmatic following of anthroposophy, the spiritual philosophy that is the basis for Waldorf methods. I've found this to be true as well.

One big example is the Michaelmas festival, which I wrote about here this autumn. I love this festival, which comes at my favorite time of year. I won't go into much detail about it, but the essence of the imagery is that Michael the Archangel overcomes the dragon. There are many metaphorical layers to this image: light vs. dark, spirituality vs. materialism, truth vs. deception.


Most (if not all) Waldorf schools in the US celebrate this festival, as I'm sure do most European ones. This festival is greatly appreciated in the anthroposophical world, and was lectured on many times by Rudolf Steiner, the creator of Waldorf education and anthroposophy.

However, I think this festival is currently celebrated by schools as a matter of tradition, where many other autumn festivals could be worked with equally well. This kind of tradition, coming from Steiner's (and the first Waldorf school's) Western European and Christian background, has been criticized as being overly eurocentric and Christian given the multicultural nature of modern America.

Steiner admonished us to think freely at all times, never to follow dogma or a guru blindly in place of our own free will. If we think freely about the Michaelmas festival, we may see that it is a celebration of light, of spirit. Many other festivals, or even newly created celebrations, could just as effectively represent these universal concepts. Several that come to mind are Hannukah, Divali, and Samhain. Extending the image to harvest time as a gathering of cosmic light into our food, I think of Sukkot, and Lughnasadh.


Don't get me wrong, I think the festivals as celebrated in Waldorf schools are wonderful, full of rich imagery that speaks to our spirits. And if Waldorf schools choose Christian European festivals, I have no problem with that in and of itself if that is the school's conscious choice, perhaps reflecting the composition of the student body. My problem comes when these festivals (and other practices) are chosen simply out of blind tradition, and do not truly speak to the multitude of cultures reflected in our population.

10 "V" things I like

Well, I'm just too fried right now to think very creatively, so I'll just take a stab at the "letter meme" passed on to me via Helen and Charlotte. I may have to bust out the dictionary for this one.

1) Violet. This kind of pastel color has steadily infiltrated my wardrobe since my kids were born. Waldorf early childhood theory says that babies need soft colors, more similar to what we think the womb is like, than the bright colors that are more appropriate for older children. So, I've come to peace with pink and violet after years of dark colors.

2) Vacation. I really like the sound of that. The last several vacations have been to see family, which is wonderful of course, but not the same as lounging on the beach with a fruity drink, or sleeping in all day with room service.

3) Velcro. Because it makes it possible for my toddlers to take off their own snow boots.

4) Vinculus. The grubby fortune-teller from Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. I like how he was the bearer of the prophecy of the Raven King, yet was a total mooch not above shouting for gin amongst gentlemen. (Not my favorite character though; that would be Childermass.)

5) Vis medicatrix naturae. (Oh yes, we're using the dictionary now.) "The body's natural ability to heal itself." I'm a big believer in that, though as I commented to Papa Bradstein recently, that might just be my stoic Swedish upbringing.

6) Volcanoes. While I've never been able to see an active volcano, I was thrilled once by finding lots of obsidian at the foot of Mt. Konocti, a dormant volcano in Northern California. And I take a certain satisfaction that SillyBilly shares my love for volcanoes and can even tell you about pahoehoe and a'a.

7) Valentine's Day. While I've never celebrated it much, it's hard to argue with a day that revolves around love, presents and chocolate.

8) Vasilissa the Beautiful. A wonderful Russian fairy tale, beautifully illustrated by Ivan Bilibin. I love Baba Yaga, the old cranky forest wise woman/hag/witch who travels around in a pestle, and lives in a house that can walk on its chicken legs!

9) Volkswagen. We had a VW squareback when I was a little girl. I could always tell when my parents were coming to pick me up from school by the distinctive sound of the motor. Very fond memories.

10) Vermeer. Every painting is a glimpse into the culture and daily life of 17th century Delft. He was a master of light and texture, making things like a woman's skin or a glass goblet luminous.

Slightly off topic

I realized recently that I haven't been posting much on my stated topic, all things anthroposophic. That's not to say that I haven't been thinking about it, au contraire, it has consumed most of my spare time and some of my spoken-for time as well.

As I recently confessed to (un)relaxeddad, I've been contributing to the Wikipedia article on Waldorf Education. It's been a bumpy ride, with the article currently blanked out due to arbitration proceedings regarding edit warring and other unkind activities (I'm not named in the arbitration; I just like to edit things!). But beyond the verbal sparring, I've been really pondering some of the issues being raised about Waldorf schools and anthroposophy. More on some specifics later.

Thanks to Anthropapa, I got a moment's respite from it all with this: isotope2.

It's entrancing, after you figure out the controls. Try to make something simple, and see if it "completes" itself.

Adventures at the mall

Today was Mama's day out. Well, Mama's 2 hours out, but still.

I had to get a few articles of clothing, so I ventured out to the mall. Now, this isn't just any mall. This is the third largest mall in the U.S. It has 4 stories, over 400 stores, an ice rink, and a ferris wheel. Inside the building.


I'm not a big fan of malls. They are usually crowded, noisy, and overwhelming to the senses. Not to mention being huge temples of materialism! But in this case the only location for a shop I needed was in the big mall. I've tried catalog ordering but for clothing I often have terrible luck getting correct sizes. So, off I went to try things on.

The clothes shopping went pretty smoothly for once, and I had planned on going to a craft store before heading home. As I got off the escalator on the third floor, I saw it and all my plans changed.

There was a Books Kinokuniya.

I had been to the store in San Francisco's Japantown several times. It was a wonderland of Japanese paper products, enormous loads of mechanical pencils and gel pens, and books. I remember it as an interesting glimpse into Japanese culture: beautiful washi paper alongside plastic Hello Kitty stuff.

Well, the West Nyack Kinokuniya was all that, and more. The juxtapositions were even more jarring: beautiful books about sushi and ikebana alongside manga and amigurumi. I love manga just for the titles: All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku, Fruits Basket, and the ever-popular Super Dimensional Fortress Macross II. And the oddest of all: Japanese women's magazines with Italian names. Oggi and Domani. Today and Tomorrow. I...don't...get...it.


Needless to say, I did not make it to the craft store. I got sucked into the children's books section (The Very Hungry Caterpillar, in Kanji!), of course the writing implements (sorely inferior the S.F. store) and the books (very weird crochet diagrams).

World Famous

So, I've been thinking about the little ClustrMap in the sidebar. I found this fun little thing on Zygote Daddy's blog, and thought it would be cool to see where people are coming from when they visit my humble blog.

I recently had the pleasure of seeing that I had penetrated every continent (excepting Antarctica-- I somehow doubt anyone at McMurdo Station is interested in toddlers)--thank you Brazil! Thank you Egypt! And some unlikely places: Sicily, Iran, Guatemala....


One problem I have with the ClustrMap is that the resolution is pretty bad. It's hard to tell where some of those dots are: Is that someone from Iran or Oman? Hong Kong or Guangzhou?


And then I wonder about some of those unlikely places...are the hits from countries like Iran or China caused by trolling internet censors? Or are there people interested in Waldorf education or something else I chose to write about?

Memes are quick, memes are fun, here comes another one

This one courtesy of Charlotte's Web. I had drafted a "25 things about me" post back in September, and never got past #13. Not sure if that's an indication of extreme banality or lack of creative thinking, but anyway...I trimmed the list down to 6 and now I feel successful.

1) I was in a Polaroid advertisement Christmas 1975. There was a full-page ad in both National Geographic and Time magazines, and a largish ad in the Los Angeles Times newspaper. The ad company evidently came to my school looking for kids and chose me. All I remember was having to sit on this old man's lap while holding an empty box wrapped as a present, and being told "pretend he's your grandpa". That might explain the slightly contemptuous yet confused look on my face.

2) I used to belong to the Society for Creative Anachronism. My persona was Venetian. I used to attend wars and help my friends make armor. Lots of medieval country dancing and mead-drinking.

3) I've never been to another country, not even Canada or Mexico.

4) I had a joint injury once every seven years: hip dislocation at birth, fractured wrist at 7, both knees dislocated at 14. Then the curse was broken!

5) In college I used to attend the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Nuart Theater in West L.A.

6) I have designed and/or sewn Medieval, Renaissance, and Victorian dresses and costumes including a dog, snake (with 3 foot long tail), trees and bushes, and a ball of flame!

Another green meme

Thank you to Jennifer (ponderosa) for this wonderful meme, also called the Ethnobotany Meme by SandyD. I love learning about native plants so this is particularly welcome.

Think of the plants (trees, flowers, etc) which grow within 50 yards of your home. Which is your favorite?

The maples...I think they're Norway maples, not a native like the Sugar maple. I'm feeling a bit abashed that I can't properly verify this. One problem is that it's 10:30 pm and about 35F out so I'm not inclined to go check the bark, buds or leaf shapes (if I could find any still in one piece on the ground).

Is any portion of this plant edible in any form? Can you boil the root, eat the berries, make tea from the leaves?

We can make maple syrup from the sap.

Can you use any portion of this plant to make something that would be truly useful for you? Alternately, can you use any portion of this plant to make something just for fun, just one time?

For fun, we made leaf crowns this autumn. Maple wood would be extremely useful for making furniture or other durable wood products (like flooring).

Can this plant survive on the groundwater available to it, or does it need to be watered?

We don't water anything around here...plenty of groundwater and precipitation.

Do you see any other creatures -- birds or bees or squirrels -- using this plant?

I've seen squirrels and chipmunks eating the seeds; nuthatches, bluejays, hawks and woodpeckers using the trees for food and/or shelter.

What does this plant look like right now, during this season and at the time of day you're writing?

Right now the maples are bare of leaves but quite colorful with lichens of many sorts. (Of course, right now it's pitch black night so I'm conjecturing from what I see in the day!) The bark is a grayish-brown, a bit furrowed but not greatly so. The branches make incredible patterns against the sky, particularly when it's cloudy.

So Little Time

By way of explaining why it's been so long between posts, here's what's on my plate right now:

1. Getting over a nasty cold that included an entire weekend of laryngitis. Even a week later Napoleona is still asking "You can say it louder Mama?" and Papa is very pleased that at least one part of me resembles Demi Moore. (Sorry Papa, as soon as my raspy throat recovers, she's outta here.)
   
2. Helping Napoleona through nightly bouts of coughing as she gets over the same nasty cold. Sucked it up and bought conventional cough suppressant after homeopathics didn't do much.
   
3. Working on a freelance editing job. (Finally! A paying job! Woo hoo!)
4. Trying to find a permanent editing job.
   
5. Reading and commenting on all my favorite blogs.
6. Editing and commenting on a Wikipedia article. (Won't say which one, too much acrimonious stuff going on behind the scenes there. I want to tell these people: come on, it's only a collaborative encyclopedia, back away from the keyboard and take your happy pill of choice.)
7. Reading all the cool books being recommended on my favorite blogs.
8. Trying to convince SillyBilly that I'm not a mean Mama, I'm just THE Mama and a 4-year-old doesn't get to tell me what to do. Toddlers, grrrrrr.
9. Figuring out what clothing items we still need to get for the Huntlings now that we actually have started winter around here. Currently 22F with 20-30 mph winds, crusty remnants of Friday's snow shower littering the ground.
   
10. Shipping books out to BookMoochers.
11. And then there's the cleaning, cooking, diapers, shopping, etc. that still must be done every single day, day after day, endless days upon days. Must...take...a...vacation!
    

The Green Meme

This meme was created by charlotteotter. I've added #10 at the end.

1. What do you for the birds and the bees?

Not much right now, I'm afraid. We planted a few annuals in the garden this summer, but otherwise since we're renting and most of the surroundings are foresty, we're not gardening much. I'm teaching my kids all about birds and bees though. They've learned that bees are our special friends, without whom we'd not have most of our food.


2. Household products. Chemical or organic?

Organic mostly. I use baking soda in the kitchen constantly. It works wonders on the crusty stove gunk. I use Seventh Generation cleaning spray on the toilet. We use chemical laundry detergent, mostly because of price. I can't believe how many loads of laundry four people generate.


3. Do you junk?

We get junk mail, though not so much. Moving several times in the last few years has helped. What we do get goes to be recycled.

4. Air-dry or tumble-dry?

I use the dryer for everything except woolies and unmentionables. We just inherited a massive drying rack that is now proudly standing next to the dryer. I'll use it more in warm weather.


5. Old gadgets. Recycle or toss ‘em?

We try to buy things that will last. Then if they're truly unwanted, we either donate them to a thrift store, or use Freecycle, which is particularly good for old baby things.


6. Lightbulbs - incandescent or fluorescent?

My husband has a problem with the quality of the light from fluorescents, so we use incandescents. But I'm pretty dogmatic about turning lights off when we're not in the room.


7. Meat or veg?

Well, we eat meat in many forms. But we also eat a lot of organic vegetables and fruits, and I try to have meat-free days often.


8. Loo paper. Virgin or recycled?

We've tried recycled toilet paper and paper towels, and frankly the quality was lacking. We use cloth bags at the grocery store, and we recycle paper and cardboard. We've got a pretty comprehensive recycling service here so our trash volume has gone way down. We used to use cloth diapers, then Seventh Generation paper diapers, and now we buy mainstream paper diapers.


9. Tap or bottled water?

We only buy bottled water for long car trips. Otherwise it's the tap, though the chlorine is pretty yucky here. We used to use a faucet filter but now our sink is too shallow for that! So we're trying to figure out what else might work.


10. Dating - metrosexual or ecosexual?

I'm not sure I totally understood this one, but our family is all on the same page as far as environmentalism.


11. Compost?

We have two huge compost bins about 50 feet from our front door, but we're still trying to figure out how to fit a compost bin in our tiny kitchen. The compost goes over to the biodynamic garden next door from whence we get vegetables and honey. So, it's my goal to increase our level of composting.

Well, looking over my answers, I'm not too impressed with myself. Many of my unsatisfactory answers come down to cost, meaning we don't have enough income to buy certain ecologically sound products. However I think we're doing some other things that are equally important. We only have one car, bought used, and driven only a few thousand miles a year. We cancelled most of our magazines and newspapers, and get our news and entertainment online. We use mostly rechargable batteries. Unfortunately we're all well aware of what we should be doing, but there's a disconnect between that and what can actually happen. Onward and upward, I guess.

An Odyssey of Eating

When Anthropapa and I were first together, we ate food that was, well, at least filling if not nutritious. I remember many Boboli pizzas, McDonald's breakfasts, bean burritos, steaks and pasta. We would buy vegetables with all seriousness, and then let them rot in the fridge for laziness and ignorance. And I remember at least one week when we visited our favorite sushi bar four times. Ah, the days of wine, roses, and disposable income.

Then at some point we started to eat in a more healthy way. More vegetables were cooked instead of thrown out. Boboli disappeared in favor of brown rice. This happened, to be honest, partly due to changes in the disposable income arena. But I'd say we had become more conscious of many things in our lives: around this time we stopped watching TV, started using alternative medicine, and became much less acquisitive in our spending habits.

Now that I am staying at home with the Huntlings, I've turned another corner food-wise. I've developed an interest in making things from scratch. Last night I made turkey-vegetable soup with dumplings. For dessert we had apple-pear-cranberry crisp. I can make sauce Béchamel, and from that, sauce Mornay--the snooty French version of cheese sauce which makes all vegetables instantly edible to toddlers.


Now, I'm saying this not with hubris, but with a modicum of amazement. Our diet regularly includes such oddities as kale and rutabaga. I can cook quinoa. And I make possibly the yummiest roast chicken around. Where did all this come from?

Some of my major inspirations include Joy of Cooking, Nourishing Traditions, On Food and Cooking, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and the Little House Cookbook.

And a plug for Anthropapa: he makes rockin' kombucha!

The Anonymizer Has Spoken

I've just gone through all my posts and changed my kids' names to nicknames. My son is now SillyBilly and my daughter is Napoleona. I know there are still links to our photo blog, and I'm sure their names are in the comments somewhere, and I'm not sure if this action even increases our privacy or security, but it somehow makes me feel better.

I found through Technorati that a very, very weird site had linked to one of my posts about my son. I never wanted to go this route, trusting in the universe and all, but in the immortal words of Beethoven and Milan Kundera, Muss es sein? Es muss sein.

Wordy Meme

Thanks to Helen and (un)relaxeddad for passing this one on, I couldn't resist.

A word that describes me is:

Wooly. Because I love wool sweaters, wool knitting yarn, needle-felted wool toys, sheepskin rugs, etc. Love love love winter!

My favourite word is:

Oh, how to pick just one. How about this: raunchy. It's got such a great crispy sound, yet the meaning is so grubby and smutty.

My least favourite word is:

A tie between mischievous and irregardless. Because it's NOT mis-chee-vee-ous, and somehow I don't think people are really trying for a double negative. Maybe people think they can make themselves sound better or more educated by adding random syllables.

Use these two words in a sentence:

Irregardless of his politial persuasion, the mischievous blogger felt no compunction about posting raunchy pictures of the senator.

A word I have to think twice about pronouncing is:

Cavalry. I always want to say Calvary, and I'm pretty sure there were no mounted units with Jesus at the Crucifixion. (Though that reminds me of the funniest line from Love, Actually: "We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.")

Dictionaries. Printed or online?

Printed. I rely on The New Oxford American Dictionary, though it would end up at the thrift store in 2 seconds if I could ever afford the ginormous, amazing Oxford English Dictionary (and a house big enough for it). Now on sale for only $850.00 for the 20-volume set!!

A word whose meaning I cannot seem to retain no matter how many times I look it up is …

Sesquipedalian: adj., given to or characterized by the use of long words, a word with many syllables. Not a very useful word unless you're trying to sound overly erudite. Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditiones habes!

Open a dictionary to a random page and find a word you don’t know. Post the word and its meaning.

farruca: n., Spanish. A type of flamenco dance.

Use the word and the word you can never remember in a sentence.

She was too breathless from dancing the farruca to respond to her partner's sesquipedalian conversation.

One of the most overused words in my area of work/study is …

Poop. We're potty training.

Children and Food

I think it's clear that we have a problem with eating in the US. Either we are obese McDonald's-eaters, or we are anorexic-bulimic fashion model wanna-be's. Somehow we have lost the ability to just enjoy a variety of foods in moderation. And not surprisingly, this problem has filtered right down to our children.

When I read about 6-year-olds worrying about their weight, I feel sick. Children should learn to love food and to eat in a reasonable fashion. They should not worry about being too fat or too thin, or about calorie intake or fat grams. They shouldn't have to think about food much at all, other than how yummy it is.

Evidently even those public officials concerned with our children's health can't seem to see clearly:

Here, in the rural Southern Tioga School District, the schools distribute the state-mandated [body mass index] reports even as they continue to serve funnel cakes and pizza for breakfast.

Um, OK. Part of the problem is economic: the article goes on to say that the district tried to offer field greens and kiwi fruit in cafeterias, but due to high costs they went back to the old iceberg lettuce and canned fruit. Because of government subsidies, processed foods are often much cheaper than whole fruits and vegetables, undermining any public health drives toward better nutrition.

Part of the problem is cultural. I remember savoring baloney/mayonnaise/white bread sandwiches as a child. Now I couldn't choke that down, but that's after many years of reprogramming my taste for healthy food. I imagine many of the kids in the NY Times article eat more pizza at home than kiwi fruit.

I'm doing my best to encourage my kids to have healthy appetites for a variety of foods. I acknowledge that I have unusually game children: for lunch we had homemade seaweed salad sushi rolls made with brown rice. For dinner we had homemade split pea soup and whole wheat biscuits (savory scones not cookies, for my UK and Australian blog friends!). They regularly chow down on mixed green salad. I know it's not uncommon for small children to want nothing but, say, yogurt three meals a day. But I think the key here is to serve nutritious food, model the behavior of enjoying the food, and not make a big deal of it.

And get off your duff and play outside!

Chaos in Everyday Life

It seems like most of my days are spent doing housework. With four people, it's incredible how many dishes and loads of laundry pile up, not to mention cooking, sweeping, cleaning up toys, vacuuming, making beds...the list goes on.

It's a challenge not to be overwhelmed and uninspired by the endless nature of housework. But I've got a few resources to help me practically and spiritually.

The title of this post comes from a wonderful article by Linda Thomas written for Kindling, an early childhood journal from the UK, available online through the Online Waldorf Library. Linda is the manager for cleaning services at the Goetheanum, the headquarters of the General Anthroposophical Society, in Dornach, Switzerland. This is a huge building, which includes a 1000-seat auditorium. So, this woman knows about cleaning on a large scale.


The inspiration for me comes in her words about the deeper meaning of cleaning and caring for a space and its inhabitants.

"Order seems to have this special quality of merging into disorder without much effort, yet the opposite never occurs. I have to consciously intervene in order to re-establish the lost order."

Oh yes. It's as if she's in my house, after a few hours of the Huntlings playing and scattering toys about. The thing that strikes me is that creating order needs to be a conscious activity, whereas chaos can be created without much thought at all.

"When I clean, I do not simply want to remove dirt. I consciously try to create space for something new."

I've noticed that when their room is very messy, the kids have a hard time playing. It's too distracting and chaotic for them. But if we spend some time tidying up then they can begin playing again.

"If we are unable to lead the meditative, spiritual life we wish to lead, we can try to find a spiritual attitude towards everything we do in our daily lives....Often it is not the work we have done which tires us. It is the mere thought of all the things that still need to be done that really exhausts us."

This rings true for me. I've been a big-league procrastinator all my life (still haven't sent out 2006 Christmas cards, oh well) and have always felt overwhelmed and depressed by big cleaning tasks. Of course this leads to a downward spiral of bigger, more intimidating messes. I've learned to break things down into manageable bits, and usually find that I can finish the big tasks even if they looked insurmountable before I started. So I've discovered it's all in the attitude. And if I can remember that caring for my home is a loving act toward my family, then it's all the easier.

Another inspiring book is The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker, by Manfred Schmidt-Brabant. He looks at homemaking on an esoteric level. Just as many people believe we have guardian angels, Schmidt-Brabant talks about the elemental beings that surround us. Some of these beings are represented in the old stories of house brownies or gnomes, or in fairy tales like the Elves and the Shoemaker. While we won't actually see brownies in our homes, Schmidt-Brabant says "...the elemental world is everywhere where there are processes going on within matter." When we fail to clean a forgotten corner of the house, movement stops in that place, and the life seems drained out of it. We joke around our house that sometimes a certain shelf or corner becomes "invisible", because we've stopped paying attention to it and it's cluttered or dirty.

Schmidt-Brabant looks at the homemaker as the center of the home, the creator of the family unit. Through the work of the homemaker, the material world of the home is humanized, and therefore spiritualized. He also describes the home as the carrier of modern culture. Previously culture was shared and strengthened through geographical proximity. Now with our pluralistic societies (I'm assuming he's speaking of Western culture primarily) we no longer have this community support, and must develop our family's cultural life ourselves.

And then, there's the scarily practical, big yellow book: Home Comforts : The Art and Science of Keeping House, by Cheryl Mendelson. Scary because, while a very helpful reference book, it also includes such minutiae as three ways to fold socks; a chapter titled "Peaceful Coexistence with Microbes"; and schedules for daily, weekly, monthly, semi-annual and annual housekeeping. Oh my.

Respecting the little people

Sometimes I marvel at how hard it is to be respectful of my children. I mean, I birthed them, still change their diapers, and can pick them up and carry them. So it's hard to remember that they aren't little beings for me to control.

I try to think about it like this: if this child were an adult, how would I be acting and speaking in this moment? Would I be yelling? Probably not. Would I spank them? Probably not (consenting adults excepted, of course). Would I constantly be telling them what to do? Probably not.

It's easiest for me to remember this on occasions where my child might need help. Usually when one of them falls down, I watch and wait instead of rushing in to pick them up and make a fuss. Perhaps I acknowledge their fall verbally, "Oops, you fell down. Back up on your big strong legs!" (this last comes from my neighbor Heather, a nice affirmation of their physical capabilities). But otherwise I don't intervene unless they seem truly hurt or upset, just as I might do with an adult who trips and falls. And even then I tend to be on the calm side, so that they don't become total drama queens, or at least any more than their natural proclivities!

When my son was born, I took a parenting class through Rudolf Steiner College, where in addition to Waldorf methods, I learned about RIE, or Resources for Infant Educarers. The amazing thing about RIE was that it taught me that children, even infants, mostly need us just to be present, but not necessarily actively directing them. When my son was an infant and needed a bit of extra help with his physical development, I found just letting him move freely on the floor, with a few toys for motivation, and me sitting quietly nearby, allowed him the space to learn and grow at his own pace. I think it allowed him to be confident in his body, and secure that I was there for him without interfering.

Nowadays it's a bit harder, with two toddler/preschoolers full of emotion, needing to assert independence whether it's convenient or not, and way too smart for their own good! I need constant reminding that they are human beings, albeit small ones, with their own agendas and destinies. I am here to keep them safe, be a role model, and shower them with love. Everything else is just my stuff getting in the way.

A tree severely pruned

I've been getting back into genealogy research lately, because I don't have enough projects to keep me busy, yah right.

On my dad's side, I can trace one shoot back to about 1600 in England, with very early immigration to what would become Massachusetts. Pretty exciting stuff, reading about long ago ancestors fighting in King Philip's War and the Revolutionary War, owning large farms and mills, and generally being interesting colonial people. (With the family name Blood, how could they not be cool? Still looking for any links to pirates.)

On my mom's side, I can trace her father's ancestry back about as far back in Sweden, thanks to a cool hand-written family tree her father passed down.

But on my mom's mother's side? Her grandparents are the oldest generation, and for them and their relatives I have almost no information. Thanks to the Holocaust, it's a complete dead end. The only thing I can find is that some of them indeed died, in Auschwitz and Riga, Latvia. Thanks to some combination of luck and pluck, my grandmother made her way to Shanghai, China where she met my grandfather and continued our family line. Otherwise we'd all be not even memories, just some tiny bits of data about lost grandparents in some backwater of the internet.

Bleh. Maybe I have reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I'm depressed because of lack of show and balmy weather!!

The stuff that's been littering my brain

Last night as we went to the the car for a dinner out (no-one was up for cooking or cleaning) Napoleona took a flying header as she ran down the road toward the parking lot. She cried for a while but all seemed well. Then this morning as I'm changing her clothes I discover a huge bonk on her upper forehead, complete with puffiness and those little red spots from the rough concrete. Felt like a very lame Mama for not checking under her bangs last night. Have been assiduously applying arnica gel ever since.

I've been reading Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. Such a depressing book really. For purely financial reasons we've been eating less organic foods lately, and for some reason more meat, and now it all makes me feel queasy reading this book. So now my brain is filled with thoughts of the interdependence of cheap corn, feedlot animals, fractionated corn products comprising most processed foods, farmers going bankrupt, cows heavily medicated to accept food they were never meant to eat, why potato chips and Wonder bread cost less than fruits and vegetables, and the fact that there are now more "overnourished" people in the world than undernourished. Can't wait to get to the section about hunting and gathering, hopefully much expanded from his article in the NY Times Magazine of 3/26/06.

Funniest holiday moment: the 10 minutes it took the kids to notice the play kitchen next to the Christmas tree, because they were too distracted by passing out presents and opening stockings. Grandpa literally had to say, I think there are more presents under THAT BIG THING OVER THERE!!!

Saddest holiday moment: the night before Christmas eve, spent cleaning and soothing Napoleona as she spent the whole night throwing up in her sleep every 20 minutes.

Most Christmasy holiday moment: singing Silent Night holding candles in Grammy's church with the kids.

Most annoying holiday moment: realizing that the only snow we were going to see for the entire vacation was on the day we were leaving to go home. Grr!

All Quiet on the Holiday Front

Well, things have been really quiet here in blogland. We spent 7 days in New Hampshire with Grammy and Grandpa, which was great overall.

However we all got some sort of stomach flu, so that at any one point in time at least one of us had either vomiting or diarrhea. Luckily on Christmas day everyone felt OK, and we were able to fulfill SillyBilly's wish to cut down our own Christmas tree.

I had true intentions to post here while on vacation, but it never happened.

On a completely different note: anyone have any opinions on blogging with WordPress?

What I'm doing instead of wrapping presents...

I found a link to these incredible Goddess dolls on Strollerderby. I've never seen something so original in "Waldorf" style toys.

Whoever can make a cool little doll out of Kali (complete with skull necklace), Tethys (with tentacles and cowries) or Boudicca (torc, woad and all) is simply awesome.

I've been thinking a lot about how the Waldorf world is a bit stuck in convention and dogma (another future post), so it's refreshing to see someone branching out a bit.

Yet another meme...

I'll have to add memes as another reason to blog! This one courtesy of White Thoughts.

Yourself: wheezy

Your partner: unsettled

Your hair: shiny

Your mother: silly

Your father: happy

Your favourite item: shell

Your dream last night: lonely

Your favourite drink: coffee

Your dream car: biodiesel

Your dream home: tidy

The room you are in: stuffed

Your ex: none

Your fear: inadequacy

Where you want to be in ten years: farm

Who you hung out with last night: Anthropapa

What you’re not: slim

Muffins: chocolate

One of your wish list items: space

Time: naptime

The last thing you did: breathed

What you are wearing: angora

Your favourite weather: cold

Your favourite book: magical

Last thing you ate: chocolate

Your life: transitioning

Your mood: curious

Your best friend: Anthropapa

What are you thinking about right now: blogging

Your car: surviving

What are you doing at the moment: breathing

Your summer: green

Relationship status: working

What is on your tv: dust

What is the weather like: cloudy

When is the last time you laughed: 11:30

What's a Blog For?

I've been trying to figure out why anyone blogs. Here's what I've come up with:

1) To keep in touch with friends and family, especially with pictures.
2) To express their opinions.
3) As a creative expression.
4) To disseminate information.

Those are all nice reasons, but what's missing for me is true dialogue. I love reading comments on this blog (LURKERS: please quit hiding and tell me what you think! I know all those ClustrMap hits mean something.) I love posting comments on blogs of friends and strangers alike.

Maybe I'm just missing something about the technology, but blogs don't seem to engender real dialogue. Perhaps threaded messages work better, I'm not sure.

The Blogger function where I get an email every time someone comments here is great, except unless I have that person's email address already, I can't respond to them other than commenting in my own post.

O ye 3-4 readers, what do you think? Why do you blog?

Wasting time instead of making Christmas presents...

Congratulations. You are 38% dork.

Almost, but not quite, entering the realm of dork-dom. You know that computers are capable of some nifty stuff, and you've even tried to partake in it. Ultimately, however, you enjoy natural lighting too much to really clinch the title of 'dork'.

The dork/nerd quiz
Quizzes for MySpace

2-year-old non-sequitur land

We like to expose the Huntlings to many cultures and religions, so they're familiar with Jesus and Buddha (I have to read up a bit more on Mohammed), Christmas and Hannukah, etc.

Yet the following comment from Napoleona still amazed me:

We're sitting at the dinner table, talking about nothing in particular that I can remember, when all of a sudden we hear a little girl voice say

"The Buddha said, life is suffering."

Whoa nelly, we've got a live one.

...On a stack of Bibles?

I just read about the incoming Muslim Congressman who is already under fire because he wants to carry a Koran at his swearing-in ceremony. I can't help but comment.

Asking a Muslim to swear an oath on a Christian Bible would be completely illogical, because the Bible is not sacred to Muslims.

Now, we here in the US have a powerful cultural image of our politicians taking oaths on a Bible. However, as the Monitor points out, this is actually a cultural image (from the swearing in of the President) and not an actual requirement of office.

Au contraire, it would actually be a violation of the US Constitution to require anyone to swear any religious oath: "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States."

I feel that I have to quote Dennis Prager, something I would not normally do, in order to most aptly express the opposition to Keith Ellison's consitutionally protected religious expression:

"Insofar as a member of Congress taking an oath to serve America and uphold its values is concerned, America is interested in only one book, the Bible. If you are incapable of taking an oath on that book, don't serve in Congress."

Last I checked, America has about 300 million people. Saying that "America" is interested in only one thing is ridiculous. Does Prager think we work on absolute consensus here?

I agree that a nation can have shared values (shared by a majority and/or historically in that culture). And I agree that the Europeans who first colonized this country were Christians.

However I disagree that for the US the Bible is the only religious document that expresses our values. President Bush's first campaign focused on "compassionate conservatism." What better to teach us about compassion than the Dhammapada? Where can we find a better guide to ethical, generous charity than in the Torah?

Prager again, in a more recent response: "The Bible is the repository of our values, not the Constitution ... and I'm asking him to honor that and include the Bible along with the Koran."

Last I checked, things like freedom of speech and religion, both protected in the Constitution, were American values.

Books We Love

As we are surrounded by gifts at this time of year, I have been thinking about one of my favorite things: books. We are a big bookish family. SillyBilly, who is 4, wants to read but can't yet. We're not pushing him, but if he wants to, he will (I learned when I was 4 as well).

So, I've been thinking about desert island books. The ones we couldn't live without.

Huntlings

Anything by Shirley Hughes
These books are marvelous for young children. Alfie and Annie Rose happen to be just about the same ages as my children, so we delight in reading about their adventures. The books have a lot of humorous situations and detailed illustrations. We love Out and About for its seasonal poetry and images.




Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel
These stories are very funny for kids and parents, and are short enough to be good bedtime reading. Frog and Toad are sort of like amphibious toddlers: they can't stop eating cookies, they have tremendous misunderstandings, and they love both a good walk outside and a warm bed at night.






Seasons books by Gerda Muller
We especially like these books because they have no text; we can make up stories and talk about the detailed pictures afresh each time. They are large board books so that they are sturdy yet not too "babyish" for big brothers to read!



Anything by Jan Brett
These books have very detailed illustrations and are full of good humor. Often there are little surprises, like the animal-shaped mountains in Daisy Come Home, or the hedgehogs that appear at least once in almost all of her books.

Anthromama

Any fiction by Wendell Berry
The stories about the fictional Kentucky town of Port William make me laugh and cry, sometimes on the same page! The characters are so well developed that I believe these are real people that Berry knows. The stories are beautifully intertwined and reflect a deep love for traditional farming communities.




The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood
I keep coming back to this book time and again. I love how the characters are so richly drawn, written with both humor and sympathy for their foibles. The three protagonists could not be more different in background and personality, yet they forged friendships that lasted decades.






Hounds of the Morrigan by Pat O'Shea

This book is full of Irish myth and legend in a contemporary setting. Some of the characters are unforgettable: a talking earwig who thinks he's Napoleon, and the gods Angus Og and Brigid disguised as tinkers Patsy and Boodie. The plot is full of adventure and good bit of horror for a "children's" book. I also like the beautiful and tender way the older brother looks after his little sister.



Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson
I have read this, along with the subsequent Green Mars and Blue Mars, again and again. I'm not a huge fan of techie science fiction, but these books balance the science with intriguing socio-economic ideas and enough plot to keep things going. I'd say the first book of the trilogy is the best.





Belinda by Anne Rampling (Rice)
Pure, unadulterated escapism. An erotic/romantic suspense novel about rich artists living in Italy, San Francisco and New Orleans. I read this when I don't want to use too many brain cells to enjoy myself.

Equal time for goofballs

Because little girls can be just as silly as their brothers...

Random goofy pictures of the boy...

because he's been away with Grammy and Grampy for a week and I miss him!

A boy and his dress

I just finished reading this article on gender confusion in small children (from a link at daddytypes).

Wow. What to do? I'm torn between the idea that a young child should be supported emotionally, and the idea that as parents part of our job is to teach our children about the culture in which we live. What's the happy medium between self-esteem and social ostracism?

My son has expressed the desire to wear pretty clothes, including his favorite red flowery dress. However he doesn't say he wants to be a girl, and most of his other chosen activities are typically masculine (as defined in our culture) such as playing with tools, toy cars, going to Home Depot with Anthropapa, and trying to sneak in gun play whenever he thinks I'm not looking.

We decided to compromise on the dress-wearing thing. I told him it was for "dress-up" time only, when he and his sister put on play clothes, fairy/butterfly wings, funny hats, etc. And the other boundary is that we only play dress-up inside the house. I feel like I'm protecting him from negative social judgments, while giving him a safe boundary in which to express that part of himself.

However, I have also made a point to tell him gently that "where we live, usually only girls wear dresses." (We did know a man back in California who would regularly wear sarongs, but I don't think SillyBilly remembers that!)

I feel like I'm helping him learn what is expected in his cultural milieu. But am I making him feel bad about himself at the same time? The NY Times article said "Studies suggest that most boys with gender variance early in childhood grow up to be gay". I've felt strongly from before his birth that I will support and love him in whatever paths he takes -- though we joke that we won't support him being a pimp, killer-for-hire, or right-wing Republican : ) -- but am I subtly telling him that wanting to be more feminine is wrong?

Holiday traditions

It's that time of year again. The time when I struggle to create traditions for our family.

I struggle because there are too many conflicting sources of symbolism, ritual and custom to choose from. I grew up with a completely secular Christmas celebration. Now my mother celebrates Hanukkah, and in the Waldorf community many people celebrate both Advent and the Twelve Days of Christmas/Holy Nights.

One year before the kids were born, we combined Advent and Christmas by putting up a live (in a pot) Christmas tree at the beginning of Advent, and each week added decorations based on the kingdom for that week (mineral, plant, animal, human). That was nice, but impractical now.

With the kids we've started having an Advent calendar, and on their nature table I will be adding the kingdoms each week until it's time for the Nativity figures. We're not religious, but the Nativity is such a basic image of life, birth, light, family, etc. that we've chosen to incorporate it.

The symbols of Christmas are so rich, and so full of ancient wisdom. I love to sing old songs like "Green Grows the Holly", "The Holly and the Ivy", "Deck the Halls" for the kids because they are so full of winter images, pictures of the triumph of life over death. And then the more religious songs are wonderful too. Rebecca sits oh so still and gets a far-off look in her eye when I quietly sing "Silent Night" to her. Even if she doesn't understand all the words, the mood of the melody says something to her.

Then there's Santa Claus. Not an image that has remained unscathed in our materialistic society. However someone once reminded me that he could be seen as a visitor from the spiritual world, flying about the starry heavens bringing gifts from above. So for now, Santa brings the little things in our stockings, and the presents under the tree are gifts for each other. When the kids get a little older I'll bring in the relation to the gifts of the Magi a bit more.

Now that we live in a cold climate, we've started to focus more on snow and winter. Last year we made borax snowflakes, a very cool craft. Candles and strings of lights pop up all over the house to drive back the darkness of the winter.

Another part of the struggle is that we have been away from home every Christmas. We're always with one set of grandparents or another, so it's hard to feel that the home celebrations are complete. We're not home for the last week of Advent, or the week after when I would put the Holy Family and the Three Kings on the nature table. The Advent calendar goes unopened, unless we bring it with us. We've not had a Christmas tree since we're not home to attend to it (and it would just become a big, messy cat toy.)